A Father's Love: Where Grief Meets Grace

It was a Thursday morning—a “typical” day, or so I thought. I woke up to my 6:00 AM alarm, tempted to hit snooze. It was still dark outside, and I’d tossed and turned all night. After a few minutes of convincing myself to get up, I noticed a missed call notification. It was from my aunt, made about four or five hours earlier. I was confused. Why would she call me in the middle of the night? I hoped it was a mistake, but deep down, something felt off.

I called her back to confirm it wasn’t anything serious. But I already knew in my spirit that something was terribly wrong. My heart began to race, and I leaned over the side of my bed, trying to steady my thoughts. The phone rang twice.

“Hey Miracle,” she answered, her voice trembling.

“Hey,” I replied. “I saw you called. Is everything okay?”

The silence between us stretched, and every second felt like a lifetime. Then she said it.

“Not good.”

“What is it? What’s wrong?” I asked, bracing myself.

Her trembling voice broke into a sob. “They found your daddy.”

The phone slipped from my hand. I let out a cry so deep, so raw, it didn’t sound like it came from me. I screamed and wept as I paced the room, repeating “no” over and over. My heart wasn’t racing anymore, it felt like it had stopped. My mind went blank.

This couldn’t be real. How could it be?

November 11, 2021 is a day I will never forget. Even as I write this, it still feels like it happened just yesterday. I remember the confusion, the disbelief. It didn’t make sense.

How could my dad—so full of life, so strong, so energetic, and only 51 years old—be gone?

A sudden, unexpected cardiac arrest. Just like that. In an instant, everything changed.

I was distraught, in denial, and completely heartbroken. This wasn’t just my father, this was my best friend. My twin. The one I could always count on to school me on life, to give me the pep talks I needed at exactly the right time.

He knew how to ground me, how to encourage me, how to see me. He affirmed me, protected me, and spoke the real deal even when it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. Exactly what a good father does.

Losing my dad left a major void, and I was truly in shock. I had always believed he would be around, that he would walk me down the aisle one day, dance with me at the reception, and that I’d later get to see him hold his grandchildren with pride.

This was a painful loss, and everything felt unreal and uncertain. There were so many moments when I shut down emotionally. I isolated myself from others and turned to food as a way to cope. It was a dark, lonely, blurry, and overwhelming time in my life.

And yet, when I look back on everything that took place, I’m reminded again and again of God’s faithfulness, His love, and His healing power.

After the initial shock began to fade, I slowly, gradually moved from denial to acceptance. Day by day, I started to see more clearly that even in the absence of my earthly dad, the love, affirmation, and covering of a Father had never left me. God had been there all along—holding me, guiding me, and reminding me that I was still His daughter.

As I said, my dad knew how to ground me, encourage me, see me, affirm me, protect me, and always spoke the real deal. God continued to show me those same qualities. He grounded me when I felt lost, encouraged me when I was weak, and never stopped seeing me—my fears, my pain, and my hopes. God affirmed me with His love, protected me in ways I didn’t even realize, and spoke truth into my life, gently correcting and guiding me when I needed it most. In the absence of my earthly dad, God remained as my perfect Father—steady, faithful, and unwavering.

If you’re reading this and carrying the weight of losing your dad, I want you to know you’re not alone. Father’s Day can be one of the hardest days to face when grief is still fresh or even years later, like it is for me. It’s okay to feel broken, to cry, to remember, and to miss him deeply. But in the midst of that pain, I encourage you to turn your heart toward God, our perfect and unfailing Father. He understands your sorrow and meets you right where you are. His love never fails, His presence never leaves, and His arms are always open to hold you close. May you find comfort in knowing that even when our earthly fathers are gone, God remains steadfast in loving, providing, and protecting us.

Scripture for those managing grief/loss:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, NIV).

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling” (Psalm 68:5, NIV).